Eleven Things You Can Do To Raise A Drug Addicted Child

1.  Be their lawyer.  Defend them to the end no matter what.

2.  Be their banker.  Give them what they want even if you can’t afford it.  The child learns they never need to worry about money.

3.  Be their insurance company.  Anytime they screw up be there prepared to cushion the shock.  Accept responsibility for what they do.

4.  Be their agent.  Don’t let them have to earn things.  If the child makes the team but doesn’t make starting line-up and hasn’t played in two games, go down to the coach and  say that my boy needs to play.  Intercede for the child.  They learn someone else will take care of it.

5.  Be their mechanic.  Fix anything that goes wrong in their life, so they never have to   worry about getting themselves out of any jam they may get into.  When they become adults they will still need you to fix things for them.

6.  Be their butler.  Everybody needs a clean room and house and meals whenever they want them.  Face it – they are going to be rich adults one day and will need to know how to manage a butler.  What is learned is irresponsibility – that they don’t need to do things for themselves.

7.  Be their administrative assistant.  Keep up with their schedules – make sure they get where they need to be on time and take messages for them.  After all – they are going to be presidents of corporations one day and they need to know how to manager an administrative  assistant.  Why not let them practice on you.

8.  Be their apologist.  Apologize for their mistakes.  When they do something embarrassing why not internalize it and make excuses for them.  Again – the child learns they don’t have to be accountable for their behavior.

9.  Be their emotional doormat.  Let them dump all their emotional baggage on you.  Let them step on you and take control of your house.  

10. Be their fairy godmother or father.  Pull out the magic wand and make everything o.k.  If they run out of money, pull out your magic wand and manufacture some.  If they wreck the car – fix it.  The child never learns they have to be responsible for their actions and that there are things they have to do.

11. Don’t share with children your belief system, because if they don’t have a belief system, they don’t know what the parameters are and don’t know what behaviors are acceptable.  You can’t leave beliefs about drugs to a child.  Children need a belief system.

  1. avatar Carole says:

    Thank you for this list it is very helpful.

  2. avatar Jacqui says:

    Thank You,
    This is very informative and helpful… I have been guilty of most of the above 11 things,
    Until I read them I didn’t realize that I was such an enabler to my son who I love with all my heart and soul..
    WHAT DO I DO NOW? Lord I have been so blind.

  3. I raised three drug addicts. One committed suicide and one was convicted of multiple felonies. My wife and I did most of the 11 contributing factors. I wrote a book about the experience and my daughter coauthored it from the Orange County Jail. It would be an excellent compliment to your resource list. Thank you for putting these 11 causes in the public domain. My book is for the victims of the substance abuser. It is Christ Centered, the only way I could have survived 16 years of hell on earth. Sincerely, Robert L. Mitchell

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